Friday, July 31, 2009

WHEN BARRY MET GLORY...



Barry:
"You know we're getting SUBIC back
in exchange for this Photo Op, right?"



Glory:
"Oh, for this, you can have CLARK too!"







The Entourage
for the 30-Minute
Courtesy Call/Photo Op:


Senators Miriam Defensor-Santiago
Senator Lito "sali ako sa picture!" Lapid

House Speaker Prospero Nograles

Camarines Sur Rep. Diosdado Arroyo,
Pampanga Rep. Aurelio Gonzales, Jr.,
Pampanga Rep. Anna York Bondoc,
Manila Rep. Bienvenido Abante, Jr.,
Quezon City Rep. Mary Ann Susano,
Bacolod Rep. Monico Puentevella,
Batangas Rep. Hermilando Mandanas,
Leyte Rep. Ferdinand Martin Romualdez,
Quezon Rep. Danilo Suarez.

Defense Secretary Giberto Teodoro,
Foreign Affairs Secretary Alberto Romulo,
Trade Secretary Peter Favila,
Press Secretary Cerge Remonde,

MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando
and his wife,
Marikina Mayor Marides Fernando.

TWITTER : Philippine Version



THIS IS HOW I TWIT:

"Twits for my Twit, Sugar for my Honey..."
"How Twit it is, to be Loved By You..."
"This Time I'll Be Twitter..."




PINOY TWITTERS I FOLLOW:
(don't worry, they aren't as kurneh as i am)


The Best Renaissance Man:
http://twitter.com/jimparedes


The Best Online Newspaper:
http://twitter.com/inquirerdotnet


The Best Spa Expert:
http://twitter.com/buwayahman


The Best Humor Blog:
http://twitter.com/tunaynalalake


The Best Lechon in Manila:
http://twitter.com/sabrosolechon


The Best Flesh in Asia, Daily:
http://twitter.com/jbmagnus


The Best Magazine in the Philippines:
http://twitter.com/rogueonline


The Best Pinay Singer, Lea Salonga:
http://twitter.com/bigsis222


The Best Buffalo Wings:
http://twitter.com/hootersPH


The Best Mayor in the Country:
http://twitter.com/jejomarbinay


The Best Bookstore:
http://twitter.com/_FULLYBOOKED


The Best Political Updates:
http://twitter.com/caffeinesparks


The Best Explainer:
http://twitter.com/mlq3


The Best School:
http://twitter.com/onebigfight






... at pumitwit pang humitwit:

DA BEST!
http://twitter.com/spankyenriquez


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

ISAW Her Standing There...

Undeniably,
the best ISAW in the metro:


shown above a bit smaller than Actual Size,
this is NOT your street-level
chickensh*t IUD wannabe;



these are BEEF intestines...

(or PORK? I really am not sure!)

guaranteed SAFE from Mad Cow and Swine Flu!!!


Very Well-Cleaned,
Robustly Marinated,
and Perfectly Grilled!!!


I devoured them like Buffalo Wings,
(of which I can eat a pound or two per sitting)
which means, I must have eaten
a yard or so of the isaw.






Aside from the Black Angus of Isaw,
there's another great find
in this Makati joint...


the band called:

"JOINT"


Fronted by Philippine Idol finalist
POW CHAVEZ
and backed by a band led by
a P.T. turned P.Diddy
composer/arranger/producer
JUMBS DB,

they play the best R & B
this side of the city.


Ask nicely,
like we did last Saturday night,
and Pow and the rest of her Joint will sing the
Best MICHAEL JACKSON Covers
from "I Want You Back" to "Billie Jean".




Sounds Good?
Bring your Glitter Glove,
Moonwalk Shoes, and Thriller Appetite here!



Tuesday, July 28, 2009

JESUS CHRIST on FACEBOOK : imagine what the GOSPELS would have been like...

Irreverent, sure.

Hilarious, absolutely!

Spiritual, surprisingly so...




click on the picture for a bigger version:




or better yet, read it all here:

Monday, July 27, 2009

BEAT THE ODD!!!

The lamest SONA print ad ever
from the Malancanang Oddballs!


I am LOVING how they somehow forced "Subic"
in there to finally beat the odds and get an "S"
to complete the concept of the advertisment!!!





And in other SONA-related news:

> People are wondering if RICKY LO
wrote the SONA, since there were
so many "Blind Items"


> ERAP is reportedly busy inspecting
all the walls of his house in Greenhills,
checking to see if they really are made of GLASS.



>EDITED out from the SONA:
"Those who should be in jail should not threaten it,
especially if we could all end up there together,"

PURPLE REIGN

I just knew that her designer
had to have an inspiration for the



PURPLE COLOR,

THE TENTACLES,

THE SHORT HAIR,

and yes,

THAT CUTE FACIAL MOLE...


She Really Wants Your VOTE...


Senator and Presidential Wannabe
LOREN LEGARDA
shows off some flesh and all
her Cougar Charms for today's SONA.






Not to be outdone,
Miriam Defensor-Santiago,
quite literally,

fleshes out the rest of this picture.



STAR WARS : The HELLO KITTY Edition

This morning, we all need to see something cute,
as all of the lies at this afternoon's SONA will be quite acute.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

WHAT IF all the PHILIPPINE PRESIDENTS belonged to ONE FIRST FAMILY?



Ferdinand Marcos,
the distant, disciplinarian grandfather
who somehow lost the family fortune.

Imelda Marcos,
the ditzy "lola" who shows up floating on a cloud of perfume,
bearing gifts, kisses, and the odd piece of unsolicited advice.

Fidel Ramos,
the sneaky uncle who always seems to be up to something,
but somehow never gets caught smoking.

Joseph Estrada,
the family underachiever who never graduated from college,
but still the most lovable "tito", thanks to all his jokes.

Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo,
The Evil Stepmother.



And
Cory and Ninoy?
MOM and DAD!!!


That's how I've always felt
about the courageous couple that
gave birth to our current Democracy.


Imperfect and immature
though it may be,
as with any growing child,
their baby surely deserves
all the love and care we can give.

After all,
we belong to the same family.







I'm quite happy that there is a resurgence
in Ninoy's popularity,
and more and more of the post-EDSA generation
are learning that he's more
than just a face on the P500 bill.


And as for Cory?

She's fighting the battle of her life,
but somehow,


I think she's already won.








for the complete details
about the new film on Ninoy,
and narrated mostly by Cory,


click on the:


Friday, July 24, 2009

TWILIGHT : Deleted Scene from the DVD



BLADE:

"I'm gonna make you bleed,
you Sparkly EMO Suckah!!!"

Thursday, July 23, 2009

THE TREE MURDERER : How Lito Atienza and the DENR are killing FIVE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED FORTY TWO Century-Old Trees

I've traveled through this stretch of road,
from San Fernando to Angeles in Pampanga,

countless times since my childhood.
What always amazed me is how these magnificent trees,

over the course of a hundred years,
have turned into an unbroken canopy

that has shaded grateful Cabalens
traversing this historic highway.




And now, the present administration,
led by a President who doesn't seem to know
anything about the history of her "native" Pampanga,


wants to cut them all down.





The Reason for this Act of Treason?


ROAD WIDENING...


what the freakin' f*ck?!?!?!

(they probably forgot that the world class
autobahn-quality North Luzon Expressway
and the Subic-Clark-Tarlac Expressway should
be promoted as the major arteries instead)




So what's next for the former Mayor of Manila?

Maybe he wants to put up silly lighting along
MacArthur Highway to replace the trees!!!




www.inquirer.net

By Tonette Orejas
Central Luzon Desk

First Posted
01:59:00 07/20/2009

Filed Under:
Environmental Issues, Infrastructure


CITY OF SAN FERNANDO—


From afar, the trees look like people were hugging them.

Artists in Pampanga province on Thursday started painting human figures on the trunks of more than 1,200 trees set to be cut because they stand in the way of a road expansion.

The Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR) has allowed the Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH) to cut the trees so the MacArthur Highway could be expanded from Apalit all the way to this city.

As of Saturday, some 100 trees on the Telabastagan segment of the highway here going to Angeles City had been painted with the protest sign—a human body with arms stretched out and around the tree trunk.

But the artists had run out of paint. Members of the Alaya Chamber of the Arts were calling for donations, so artists could paint the protest symbol on more trees, according to Cecile Yumul, a local environmentalist who has asked the DENR and DPWH to stop cutting the trees.

“These trees served as temporary homes to evacuees who were running away from the eruptions of Mt. Pinatubo [in 1991]. The treetops became our guide when the route was dark and [covered] by sand [during the eruptions],” Yumul said.


Concert to save trees

The trees “breathe out” oxygen and serve as buffer against flooding by absorbing rainfall in their canopies and in the soil, which make them all the more important, she said.

“The government built a road on the FVR Megadike. We have the North Luzon Expressway (NLEx) [and] the Subic-Clark-Tarlac Expressway (SCTex). With these new highways, the DPWH can leave MacArthur [Highway] alone and spare the trees,” Yumul said.

On Friday night, musical bands, performance artists and Kapampangan singer Ara Mina mounted a concert to gather support for the campaign to save the trees. The petition has so far gathered over 1,000 signatures.


5,442 trees sentenced

The April 22 permit given by Environment Secretary Lito Atienza would cover 5,446 trees in Apalit to San Fernando in Pampanga, and Bamban to Capas and Tarlac City to San Manuel, both in Tarlac.

In a memorandum attached to the permit, Atienza said the tree cutting could not be avoided with the expansion of the MacArthur Highway, also known as the Manila North Road.

At least 1,282 trees will be transferred by earth balling while 4,164 trees will be cut, according to Sofio Quintana, regional technical director for forestry of the DENR.

In San Fernando, at least 82 trees had been cut as of Friday.

Quintana said Atienza gave three conditions before the DPWH could start cutting trees:

The agency must put up billboards informing the public that the DENR had authorized the tree cutting and earth balling.

The DPWH must replace each cut tree with 30 seedlings, all of which will be given to the nursery of the DENR for its reforestation activities. The logs must also be turned over to the DENR.

The DPWH must make sure representatives of the DENR and local governments are present during the tree cutting and earth balling.


120 days

The permit is good for 120 days. When that period lapses, the DPWH will have to get a new permit before it can proceed with its clearing activities, according to Quintana.

He stressed that none of the trees were on the list of endangered species. Most are acacia and fruit trees, he said, citing results of a census.

The Pampanga and Tarlac engineering districts have proceeded slowly with the clearing to comply with the requirements prescribed by the DENR, said Alfredo Tolentino, public works regional director.

While the road widening project’s P700-million budget did not include provisions for the purchase of seedlings, the DPWH was able to scrape together funds from its savings, Tolentino said.


Once a dirt road

The 200-kilometer MacArthur Highway, which starts from the rotunda of Caloocan City to La Union, was originally a dirt road before the American colonial era.

Tolentino said the highway was being improved to provide an alternative route to motorists wanting to save on toll fees at the NLEx and the SCTex.

Tarlac City Mayor Genaro Mendoza said he had not received a letter from the DPWH about the tree cutting.

“They can do it for as long as they comply with the requirements of the DENR and if the project is truly beneficial to the people,” Mendoza said in a phone interview.

The Pampanga Chamber of Commerce and Industry lifted its protest and has since supported the project to improve traffic and hasten progress in the province.


Part of Pampanga heritage

Local environmentalist Yumul continues to oppose the project, saying traffic management is a matter of enforcement.

The DPWH, Land Transportation Office and local governments should ban trucks from using the MacArthur Highway and direct them all to the NLEx and the SCTEx, she said.

“Why should they sacrifice the trees if they fail to do their jobs?” Yumul said in Filipino.

The expansion of the highway removes a safety buffer between the communities and the road, said Lito Ocampo, president of homeowners associations in the city’s 100 subdivisions.

The Advocacy for the Development of Central Luzon said the trees should be saved as global warming had become a cause for concern.

The trees are part of Pampanga’s heritage, having been planted under the leadership of Eusebius Julius Halsema when he was district engineer of the province between 1914 and 1916, according to Maria Lourdes Carmela Jade Pangilinan, another green advocate.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

MICHAEL JACKSON has an ADULT SON who was at the Memorial Service!?!??!



He's 25, and Half-Norweigan.

And he looks exactly like his Dad.



For the Full Story,

GMA just declared the 2010 HOLIDAYS. WTF?!?

The subtext being?

It seems that
GMA and her Line of Succession
(Enrile #2 and Kabayan #1)
aren't going anywhere anytime
in the next 18 months or so...




By TJ Burgonio
Philippine Daily Inquirer
19:55:00 07/22/2009




President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
issued Proclamation 1841 declaring

10 regular holidays,
4 special non-working holidays
and
1 special holiday for 2010.


To be observed as regular holidays in 2010:


New Year's Day
(January 1),

Maundy Thursday
(April 1),

Good Friday
(April 2),

Araw ng Kagitingan
(April 9),

Labor Day
(May 1),

Independence Day
(June 14, Monday nearest June 12),

National Heroes Day
(August 30, last Monday of August),

Bonifacio Day
(November 29, Monday nearest November 30),

Christmas Day
(December 25, Saturday),

Rizal Day
(December 27, Monday nearest December 30).



Under Republic Act 9492, holidays,
except those that are religious in nature,
are moved to the nearest Monday
unless otherwise modified by law,
order or proclamation.




The special non-working days:

Ninoy Aquino Day
August 23,
(Monday nearest Aug August 23),

All Saints Day
(Nov. 1, Monday),


December 24

December 31,
the last day of the year.



The 1986 People Power Revolution anniversary,
February 22,
(Monday nearest February 25)
is declared as a special holiday for all schools.

(Just Schools?!?!!?)


The government will issue other proclamations
declaring a national holiday for the observance of the
Eid'l Fitr and Eid'l Adha,
whose dates are determined based on the lunar calendar.



Arroyo has signed Republic Act 9645
declaring July 27 of every year
as special national "working holiday"
in recognition of the founding anniversary of
Iglesia ni Cristo.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The 40th Anniversary of MANKIND'S GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT




Humans will someday live among the stars.


John F. Kennedy's
speech below, which he gave in 1962,
sounds exactly like an excerpt from
Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica!


Still the Greatest Adventure of All Time.







"We set sail on this new sea
because there is new knowledge to be gained,
and new rights to be won,
and they must be won and used
for the progress of all people.




There is no strife, no prejudice,
no national conflict in outer space as yet.

Its hazards are hostile to us all.

Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind,
and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation
may never come again.

But why, some say, the moon?



We choose to go to the moon in this decade
and do the other things,

not because they are easy,

but because they are hard,

because that goal will serve
to organize and measure
the best of our energies and skills,

because that challenge is one
that we are willing to accept,
one we are unwilling to postpone,
and one which we intend to win."















Thank You
JFK.

Thank You
NASA.

Thank You
NEIL ARMSTRONG,
and all your fellow Astronauts.


SO DAMN PROUD TO BE...


THIS WILL BE MY NEXT TATTOO!!!





From FILIPINO @ Facebook :

Anyone may use this logo in their website for personal use.
However do not modify the logo except when resizing.

The logo should be clickable with a link
(www.facebook.com/filipino.kami)
so when someone clicks on the logo,
they can are brought to the Facebook page.

Commercial, business or non-profit use,
or if used as the *main logo* in another Facebook Page,
Group or any other similar social networking, forum or group,
is strictly prohibited except when expressly permitted
in writing by FILIPINO Facebook Admin/Owner.

THIS LOGO IS COPYRIGHTED.
© Copyright 2009,
Filipino | Facebook.
All rights reserved.

"Con-COKE-Tions" at BILLY ROCK : Not Your Grandmother's COCA-COLA Anymore...



From The BISTRO Group,
the same great people
responsible for so many memorable meals
(and booze-filled nights) at
TGIFridays, Italianni's, and Outback,


comes a great new concept
that combines
two of my favorite things,

COKE and COCKTAILS!!!




Yes, Virginia,
you can drink-all-you-can,
only at the newest (and only)
COCA-COLA Bar in the Philippines:







Berry Slush,
fruity Monin cherry and raspberry syrups,
with the liberating spirit of Sprite
and the cheerful effervescence of Coca-Cola.



Granny Smith Apple,
brimming with Monin Granny Smith, apple syrup and Coke.
The hint of apple probably makes this a Steve Jobs favorite.




Spice,
a mishmash of Billy Rock’s Pibb Xtra,
Monin Caribbean flavored with rum syrup, pineapple juice,
and the sparkling goodness of Coca-Cola.




Brew,
a blend of supreme brewed coffee, Coke, and Sarsi.
Not just for barakos!



Cherry Lemonade,
an icy fusion of Sprite-Sprite Zero, Minute Maid,
lemonade, and Monin cherry syrup.




Peppermint Brownie,
the fizzy sweetness of Coke with chocolate milk,
brownies, and Monin peppermint syrup.



Chocolate Cherry,
the chocolatey combo of Monin cherry syrup
and chocolate syrup mixed with Coca-Cola.




Cinnamon Snifter,
a sweet and sultry mix of Sarsi, vanilla ice cream,
whipped cream, and Monin cinnamon syrup.



Iced Milk,
a creamy treat with the smoothness of whole milk,
the delectable hint of Monin chocolate syrup,
and the bubbly effervescence of Coke.





The Absurdly Generous BILLY ROCK Promos!!!



Mondays & Tuesdays: Bucketday
A bucket of 6 San Miguel beer. 250
A bucket of 6 San Miguel beers with our Billy’s Bite pica-pica. 425


Wednesdays: con-Coke-tions
Enjoy bottomless cocktail drinks with Coca-Cola twist. 275
Add P100 for your endless onion rings.


Thursdays/Fridays/Saturdays:
Endless BillyRocker Drinks
One isn’t enougn but be responsible!
BillyRocker drinks will surely get you buzzed & wanting more. 350
Add P100 for your endless homemade potato chips.


BillyRock Wine + Endless Potato Chips
Have a taste of our own wine, right from the can.
Served with endless homemade potato chips. 350


Monday, July 20, 2009

So When Do We Reach ONE BILLION???



24 MILLION
Two Years Ago



90 MILLION
One Year Ago



200 MILLION
Three Months Ago:





250 MILLION
Just Last Week:





Let's FACE it;

It's a Facebook World,
we just live in it...




and what the frack?!?!
This is really shocking:










Quickie Survey:

How Many of You
still log on to your
Friendster?

Just leave your answer
in the comments section...

salamatski!

BACON DONUTS!!!



Buy a dozen Original Glazed
from


fry up a Kilo of Bacon
from



crumble,

sprinkle,

and...



DEVOUR!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

FLESH ASIA DAILY : "And That's The Way It Is..."


Perhaps it's appropriate that
Walter Cronkite and "Mike Chanco"
"write 30" on the same day.

Although separated by
decades and generations,

both Cronkite and Chanco

captivated their viewers and
influenced their thinking,

simply by providing the most current
and most relevant news of the day
enhanced by the pithiest of observations.


Cronkite will forever be remembered
for his reaction to the
Apollo 11 Moon Landing.

Chanco will forever be remembered
for his revelations of
Kho mooning his hidden cameras.






Requiescat in Pax?




FAD LIVES!




click here:








I've always been a fan of FleshAsiaDaily.
I've always promoted FAD enthusiastically,

not just for the poetry of its photos,
but more so, for its excellent prose.


As subversive as Jon Stewart,
as acerbic as Simon Cowell,
as fearlessly absurd as Conan O'Brien,
as sardonic as David Letterman,
as smartly self-aware as Stephen Colbert.

In other words,
Comedy Gold!!!

The final post, you may read below.




And as FAD 2.0 rides off into the sunset,
I leave you with what has become the
valedictory of one "Mike Chanco".

We hope to read more of his
damn good writing
(and more of the damn good stuff)
in FAD 3.0!!!






Props to Mawe's Adobo for archiving this!



"Hello, people. My name is JB Lazarte.

The past week, news reports named me
“Jobart,” “Jobert,” or “Joe Bert.”

Last Friday afternoon,
some NBI dude with a gun just called me “Sit The Fuck Down.”
Cool name, if you ask me. Sounds like an Indian,
like Mr Two Dogs Fucking you see on the Error 500 page.

But most of you — in fact, all except maybe 18 of you —
knew me by my pseudonym of Mike Chanco.

It was a tongue-in-cheek play on
Mike Enriquez and Mel Tiangco.

No, I’m not a hardcore GMA-7 Kapuso.
I rarely watch the television machine at all,
except only whenever Marian Rivera appears
and says cute things like, “Maintain!”

I had chosen “Mike Chanco” simply because
I didn’t like the sound of
“Henry Omaga Sison-Livingstone.”


That being said, here’s some real, real stuff about me
you probably should know before all those news reports
and NBI press releases repeat themselves enough
to begin sounding like the truth.




Basically, I’ve always been a writer.

Aside from FAD, I also write Skirmisher and The Spinal Tap.

I was a student paper editor back in college
who abused my little clout to still get grades
even without attending most of my classes.

Sometime in the 1990s,
some people thought I wrote well enough
that they sent me to Rome, Italy
to help in saving the world from global hunger.

Instead, I spent that jolly good time chasing skirts,
specifically that of one cute Japanese girl.

Or stealing silver crucifixes.
Later, I would move on to writing some poetry and short stories.


My first few “publishable” verses appeared
in the now-defunct Pen and Ink,
some occasionally appeared in the Inquirer’s Sunday magazine.


I wrote stories that appeared in, say,
the Philippine Graphic and the Philippines Free Press.


My story “The Folly Parade” was included
in the University of the Philippines’
Likhaan Anthology in 2001.


In 2006, my story “Blind Spot”
landed second place in the Philippines Free Press
Annual Literary Awards.



But after that, I sort of stopped writing fiction —
I promised myself I should top “Blind Spot”
and write something longer, like a novel.

But three years since — now in 2009 —
I’m writing this shit blog post instead
at the NBI office while waiting for my lunch.
There’s dark comedy there somewhere.







As you know, Flesh Asia Daily —
the original one I set up on Blogger.com —
happened in April 2007.


Back then it was nothing hardcore.
Just girls in bikinis.
The first posts were mostly pictures and almost no text.

Like most bloggers, it was just a hobby,
something you did when you’re not working
or not watching grass grow.

Little did I know that it would actually grow
big enough to force me to migrate it to its own server,
then adopting the WordPress platform.


I called this one FAD 2.0,
and it was the version that began to have adult content.




Edison Chen’s scandals happened
and I just couldn’t turn away from it.

Nudity eventually became regular fare,
along with the usual sex scandals committed
by celebrities and comon folks.


By April 2009, I was thinking of shutting it down.
There was some real work coming,
plus the fact that I’m a couple of years
behind writing that promised novel,
so I seriously thought FAD 2.0 —
the popular adult-oriented blog my little hobby has become —
can be shut down, or perhaps sold to someone with bigger balls.





But then came Hayden Kho.

Then came Katrina Halili.

Then came last Friday.

Holy mother of fuck.




Before the NBI entered my life
in such a cinematic primetime news-worthy fashion,
the “wildest most action-y” thing I had ever experienced
was taking a dump at a fast food joint
then leaving without flushing it.

Or peeing in the shower.
Or telling Christopher Walken
that his smile frightens the beejesus out of me,
via email.





One moment you were wondering how to spend
the rest of the sleepy afternoon,
the next moment there was this huge NBI person
with a bad-ass gun screaming at me to sit or else,
with all those camera people
and ABS-CBN’s Maan Macapagal taking it all in.

Nope, we weren’t “manufacturing pornographies,”
as some early news reports said.

What I was doing in fact,
and this everybody and his cousin failed to mention,
was that they caught me doing the
“unspeakably horrible” act of playing Guitar fucking Hero.

Worse, not only was I playing Guitar Hero,
I was doing it at medium difficulty!

So how pussier could you get?
The “Sultan of Sleaze,”
who’s so evil he allegedly was the first to upload
those Hayden Kho videos,
who apparently has “connections” with certain criminal elements,
who “manufactured pornographies,”
was caught negotiating the guitar riffs
of Franz Ferdinand’s “Take Me Out.”



Jesus fucking christ.
If I hadn’t been so nervous
about having firearms in my mother’s house,
I’d have been laughing on the floor laughing like crazy.




Later, in the middle of all the chaos,
I saw Maan Macapagal in a corner writing her news report.
I saw some “outrageous inaccuracies,”
and so felt the need to “correct” her on the spot.


I told her FAD was not getting “20,000 hits a day,”
thank you very much, but “60,000 unique visitors”
before the sex video mess came out.


But I didn’t correct Maan when she wrote
FAD has been getting 1.2 million page views
since the scandal emerged.

Of course, it was a grossly inaccurate number,
but my “morbid pride” outweighed
my “devotion” to accuracy this time,
so I let it slide.



I caught a glimpse of my brother glaring at me from a corner,
telepathically sending me the message,
“What the fuck are you doing, giving interviews?”
I shrugged.

I later nudged him and said,
“Bro, Maan Macapagal’s cute pala!”

My brother stared at me in disbelief.
“We’re in the middle of all this mess,
the NBI taking us out, and here you’re still thinking,
‘Maan Macapagal’s cute pala‘? Jesus.”

I said,
“Bro, focus. Focus on the more important things.”
But then I stopped because he was right
and I was being ridiculous.









We were under custody of the NBI
at their main office from Friday night to Wednesday evening.

To be fair, we were treated well.
I could even say the NBI agents
were very friendly and accommodating
and they seemed people I could have been friends with
had we met under different circumstances.

But still, they charged me —
not with illegal possession of sheer awesomeness —
but with violation of Article 201 of the Revised Penal Code,
something about engaging in “obscene publications.”






Personally, I find that incredibly ridiculous,

probably one of the main reasons why Shakespeare invented
the oft-used question “What the fuck?”

But it is very important to note that this case
is a really new thing —

this is probably the very first time in this country
that a website (which is not even physically located in the Philippines)
was charged with Article 201 violation.

Maybe this is your very own local version of
The People Vs. Larry Flynt,
only less fun and more gut-wrenching.

This is so new that maybe if we actually lose in this case,
it may serve as a basis for future shit. Really murky shit.




People who think an adult-oriented celebrity news site
should be eliminated are people who are grossly ignorant
of online culture, including its attendant freedoms.


Incidentally,
such people have become FAD’s opponents.


This might turn out to be a historical case.

So don’t let the bullshit-peddlers win."



Friday, July 17, 2009

ANAK ng...


FREDDIE AGUILAR,
iconic singer of "Anak" in the '70s
and "Bayan Ko" during EDSA I in '86,


has been doing a Charles Darwin
and monkeying around with

OPRAH's girl CHARICE,
JOURNEY's lead singer ARNEL PINEDA;


Ka Freddie is calling both of them
"MONKEYS".
As in, "monkey see, monkey do".

Simply because,
the new Pinoy International Stars
are making it big singing English songs
rather than songs in Pilipino.


So, a Pinoy can only be considered
Nationalistic if he sings in Pilipino Internationally?

(notwithstanding Nievera's Massacre
of the National Anthem apparently)

Right, said Fred.







But...

wait a minute...

to penetrate the international market,


didn't Ka Freddie himself release an
ENGLISH version of ANAK?!??!







oh, by the way?

Mr. Aguilar opened a new branch of
Ka Freddie's Music Bar last July 3.




ANAK ng...

sige na nga,
bibisita na kami sa bagong bar mo,

alam naman namin na di ka unggoy,
pero duda kami, may pagka-alimango ka yata!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Please Don't DICK Around with the $*%>*#&)@ ABU SAYYAF!!!




Seriously,
Senator Gordon?!?!


AMNESTY for the ABU SAYYAF!??!?!


I appreciate the relief you must feel
now that your fellow Red Cross volunteer
has been freed after six months in the jungles,

but I also hope that this isn't a kneejerk
STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
reaction to the happy resolution
of Eugenio Vagni's abduction.





Does the Abu Sayyaf have any sort of
ideological, political, philosophical,
or even a religious agenda?

Are they New Age Freedom Fighters of some sort?

Are they modern-day Robin Hoods?



OF COURSE NOT.


The Abu Sayyaf targets
Civilians as well as Politicians,
Red Cross Volunteers and the Media,
the Religious as well as the Military.

No distinctions at all made
between the innocent and those that
they perceive to be their "enemies".


They are nothing but
greedy extortionists and power-tripping rapists.

They are nothing but criminals of the worst kind,
responsible for countless abuses and acts of violence,
beheadings, killings, and kidnappings.




Ces Drilon, just a year ago.

And I hope the good Senator
remembers the tragedy of the Burnhams.






ERAP,
for all his faults as President,
was absolutely right when he waged
TOTAL WAR
against these bandits.



And Now,
I'm loving the fact that
a promising young politician
is carrying on with a policy of
EXTREME PREJUDICE
against these terrorists.


GIBO,
whose wife, Rep. Nikki Teodoro,
retracted her signature from HR 1109,
is fast proving himself to be an astute,
independent, and intelligent Secretary of Defense.

We need someone like him in a Higher Office.

Soon.



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